Phone call

After awhile, since we broke up, this is his first time to call me. For only a few secs. I dont knw wht i feel but i love tht feeling(urgh, fuck it again la).
Apa mimpi dia called me ? im not sure.
Sedikit lega when dgr his voice (fuck it more).
Hmmmm, i hope he knows how much bruises he did on my heart.

27December2009
11.27pm

The phone was ringing

Asyraf : Hello
Farah : Hello
Asyraf : Tgh buat apa ?
Farah : Baru sampai rumah, keluar td.
Asyraf : Oh. I dah nk tidur ni.
Farah : Esok ada class?
Asyraf : Ada. Macam biasa. Td i study. Instrument and bla bla ( i cant remember wht subject dia ckp)
Farah : Oh okay.
Asyraf : Hmmm ok lah, nak tidur. Good night.
Farah : Ok. Night.
Farah/Asyraf : Bye


There's so many things i want to say, but i don't think you would listen.. :(

Matter of time

Three Cheers For Five Years

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

WWW.ASYRAFK6.BLOGPSOT.COM

Go Go Go !

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if u leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss u much (fuck it)

Distance makes heart grow fonder.

Video call remember ?

• before u go to class
• before u off to bed
• before u take yr shower
• right after u woke up in the morning
• before u want to go out
• when u feel so stressed and looking for me
• when we missed out each other so much
• when we missed to see each other face
• when u want to show me something (yr room, yr uniform, yr bed, yr new things etc)
• when u was at kelantan
• when u wanted to say 'i love u' to me :(

Remember ?

Did you remember our first pic in the car at pavi carpark, heartbreaker ? ?

U were counting days before we're together ?

Teman I to Shah Alam until i finished my class

We went to klcc so many time n had fun together.

U was so excited, when first time u got yr uniform :)

(i pray for yr success to be a great pilot dear)

At klcc, shopping for my dress.

U asked me to have an evening walk.

(how sweet u were, heartbreaker)

Excited dude on board

(terus mms yr pic to me this time)

Went to the Zoo

But all this is just a memory. How could u be so sweet dulu Asyraf. In a blink of an eye, u totally changed. I never cheated on u, i never hurt u. What's my fault? U can't tell me and i dont knw tho.

Now u hurt me badly.

Where are u ?

Dia berada di Kuantan, Pahang sekarang. I knew it. Ber'reunion' bersama kawan kawan sekolah menengah sains raubnyaaa. I hope he's doing fine there and having fun. Since we broke up, dah dua hari saya tak contact dia. And he did too. But almost every time, saya friend finder Asyraf. Hope dia had a safe journey from Kelantan to Pahang. Jalan raya kat sana bahaya, selalu ada accident. But i knew it, he reached there when saya baca status facebook dia : 'Kuantan, Pahang'.

Why laa, farah sayang sgt dekat Asyraf kannn. Even u dah buat shit kat i. And even worse, u dumped i. Sokay. What can i do now, is just pray and pray :)

He's going back to K.L this friday, saya hope sangat dia contact saya and ask for out.

Sekejap pun takpe, jadi laaah. Miss dia sangat sangat. Hmmmmm, dia miss saya ke yang saya nak rindu lebih lebih dkt dia ni ? Takpe laaa, tu dia, biar lah dia, nak rindu or not.

How can i start to move on if still macam ni farah ? Maybe, it takes time. Takpe farah, slow slow ok. Farah boleh punya. Kalau boleh memang taknak move on because still love him so much, the feelings still same mcm dulu. Tak pernah berubah langsung. But what i can do, Asyraf sendiri yang suruh saya move on. Thank God, I 'found' you ASYRAF.

p/s: imisstheoldasyrafbakrisomuch

To Whom It May Concern

Dear A,

This is the letter I'll never send to you. What's left of my heart is in this letter, and if only it were as easy as to give you this letter, I would. I never knew love until I knew you. I shared with you my mind, body, heart, and soul. We shared a feeling so deep that simply cannot be put into words. We shared our lives together; through friends, God, our dreams, passions, goals in life, through love.

The love in my heart for you will never change. I was told that time heals everything. I've believe time just makes things a little easier to deal with. But the truth is, I still dream of you, I still cry myself to sleep thinking of you, and I still look up at the stars wishing you were near me.I check my hp ... just in case.

Most of all, I pray that you will accomplish your dreams with strength and pride and honor. I still love you and want you to have the best of life. I just wish I was a part of it. I never knew that someone could ever hurt as much as I do. What scares me is I'm sure the pain in life gets worse. You have hurt me in countless ways, in ways you promised you would never. In ways I never knew you could or would ever do. It is only worth mentioning because it hasn't shaken my love for you. I want to believe in forgiving and forgetting. If you would only let me forgive you. If only you showed me you cared.

What has hurt me more than God ever gave warning for was the night I needed you most. I called you from the accident scene. I was scared, alone, traumatized, and needed you badly. I have been there for you countlessly. I always in my heart thought that no matter where our relationship was at the time, when I needed you the most, you would be there. I know I would do the same for you. I just bought a box of cupcakes for you for your birthday. And the next day you just totally ignored me and asked me for a break up. So many times, I thought life is so unfair. I know there are reasons why we can't be together. Reasons that God only knows, but this will not be the reason for me to forget you. You really know how much I love you and care for you but there is nothing I can do more. Even though we're apart, this will not be the end of our commitment. You are the best thing that ever happened in my whole, entire, damn life. Please keep me in a special place in your heart ... that's where you'll stay in mine.

Just always remember that I really treasure your love and cares for me. I really miss you so.

Love,

Farah.

p/s: imisstheoldaABsomuch